sian...sian...sian

Yeah.... I did went for medical checkup at the CMPB tat day....ha...got a PES D...meaning they couldnt grade me bcos i have medical problems that they need to reassess before they push me to a PES..... seriously speaking....i hope i can be excused from NS...lol...tats the best solution... y have someone who doesnt like NS to be in NS for 2 years sulking???? Beats no purpose...still have to give me food, lodging, salary...in wich i do not even want it..... my current job pays me twice the amt of allowance tat i can expect to be getting!!! AND worst of all!!! NO CPF!!!! NO STAFF PRIVILEGE.... !!!!!! NO FREEDOM... though the current job oso requires me to wear green...but as least... there's AIR CON!!!!...and even though both jobs require u to be under the sun... rail mall has less sun!!!!

Seriously speaking, i dont think i can even lift up a gun...haha....i tink i will collapse with the gun....i dun have tat strength.... anyway, tml is my re-assessment day...hope they will give me something like PES C and below...best is E....or even F..... people say abt being despise while going 2 a lower PES..but to me..it doesnt matter....no humiliation..no nothing.... if u were to say i am a useless person..wad abt the girls...all PES F???....even worst rite...haiz...and anyway... i feel tat this thing is stupid lor..y train people when they are weak...train those tat are fit..who ask them to be fit rite...they can do all they wan.... and regarding humiliation....do i give a damn thing abt it.... fat people dun take it in at all lor... people call u fat pig...etc.....and tis...call u weakling...so be it!.... at least i dun have to suffer tat much....i dun mind lor.... i am accustomed to humiliations..so wad....

Anyway, i really feel this stupid 2 years is making me crazy....i cant really concentrate now...not for studies...i am abnormal person...at least still i am assured i can get into a PES C...at least...if a BP...i tink will get into some mental illness soon....perhaps stop eating..behave like a moron..?????

3 weeks of school and I am still day-dreaming.......... wad i care now is only MONEY!!!!...which i cant earn when i go into the green place with many guys.....-_-"...